An important distinction that confuses many men and their partners as far as the topic of delayed ejaculation is concerned, is that even though orgasm and ejaculation appear to be one and the same thing, these are, in fact, two different reactions. The feeling of orgasm is a mental event, which takes place purely as a chemical and synaptic interaction in your mind, even if physical sensations are also experienced.
Conversely, ejaculation is a reflex response that is triggered by repetitive pleasurable physical contact to the penis and sexually sensitive nerve endings elsewhere in the body. Of course, we still don’t have any idea on where orgasmic pleasure is felt inside the brain, but there have been breakthroughs about the synaptic pathways through which the reflex response of ejaculation is induced.
For those who are interested, one suggestion is that when sexual arousal reaches a near-climactic point, the emission of semen close to the farthest point of the the urethra concentrates the pressure at the root of the penis, and this unleashes a a whole series of physical responses including flexing of the pubococcygeal muscle.
Ejaculation is governed by the involuntary nervous system, while sexual arousal is purely a function of the voluntary nervous mechanism.
Delayed ejaculation has been known to the medical profession for years now, and the terminologies commonly used to identify this peculiar function probably represents in some part, the scientific community’s evolving attitude to the condition: ejaculatory incompetence, ejaculatory over-control, retarded ejaculation, and finally delayed ejaculation.
The evolving nomenclature is illustrative of, at least in my mind, a slowly increasing level of respect for the men whose sex lives are diminished by their inability to ejaculate in a timely way during sex.
The thing that’s particularly puzzling to researchers is that most of these men are able to ejaculate without any apparent difficulty when they are pleasuring themselves. This fact has given rise to the belief that there may be many relationship issues associated with failure to achieve orgasm and ejaculate in the course of engaging in sex. However, one must be a little bit skeptical when seeking an explanation in the dynamics between a couple.
There’s strong reason to suggest that the failure to ejaculate even when a partner performs fellatio on him, during actual sex involving genital penetration, or through direct manual stimulation by a partner could only mean that there’s nothing in these activities that can compare to the higher level of pleasure that a man may have learned to apply to his own organ in the act of masturbating and imagining the sexual act.
Certainly, any man can get physically accustomed to response to a specific intensity of stimulation, so it’s always wise to initially find out whether or not the delayed ejaculation issue simply lies in the fact that the man by himself, can perform harsh, rough, or high-frequency pressure during self stimulation, in a way that is not simulated during sexual intercourse with a partner.
If the problem is, in fact, caused by a simple incompatibility in techniques, the cure will be in the form of retraining the body, the sex organ and the mind, to acquiesce to much more gentle pleasuring of the kind that can result to an orgasm during sexual activity.
Needless to say, counsellors and sex therapists often take the view that the internal dynamics is the real cause of delayed ejaculation.
Quite frankly, there’s sufficient basis for this assumption. In my years of working as a counsellor, I’ve met sex partners who have become increasingly hostile to each other and have diminished intimacy to such a degree that the male no longer enjoys sex, and sees it as a burden, whilst simultaneously finding himself unable to communicate with his partner and begin a rational dialogue to find a mutually acceptable solution to these difficulties.
And even if there isn’t hostility, antagonism, or any other emotion on the part of the man towards the woman, there is, as some studies show, a specific kind of individual who is predisposed to delayed ejaculation.
As often mentioned in scientific literature, this individual profile is quite likely a person who is somehow detached from his personal process of sexual pleasure, who frequently is unaware of how aroused he is while doing sexual intercourse, who often considers sex with his partner as a duty that he needs to perform, who considers his partner’s gratification during the act as his own responsibility, and who believes that the woman’s pleasure must be considered first and is the the most important part of sex. These men generally, whether intentionally or not, perceive themselves as the “workhorse of sex”, thrusting rhythmically (sometimes to no avail) to steer sex to a satisfying conclusion.
An important factor in this arrangement is that the majority of the partners of men with this condition tend to be somewhat passive when it comes to sex, and have an expectation that the male is somehow obligated to bring them sexual pleasure. In fact, they should be without a doubt responsible for their own orgasm. In such cases, it’s clearly imperative to help and re-educate the sex partners and make available some actionable sexual information. Coached in such a way, the couple’s expectations and attitudes around sex and erotic pleasure are steered closer to reality.
Furthermore, it has been observed that males who have this type of personality profile generally lack solid grasp of their own gradations of arousal. Often there appears to be a degree of gap, or even a void, in their sexual maturity, in such a way that they have come to associate their internal mechanism of sexual arousal with the outside dynamics of having sexual activity with a partner.
To put these observations in a workable perspective, their own erotic world somehow doesn’t serve as a source of sexual stimulus and gratification: they are left in a sort of sexual uncertainty where they are trying to engage in sex minus all the basic emotional and physiological tools that are important for the sex act to be a pleasurable and mutually satisfying exercise.
The good news is that there is no evidence whatsoever that having a yeast infection called thrush, is going to affect your fertility, see you’re probably going to be able to get pregnant just as easily as if you did not have an infection.
However the problem is that vaginal thrush is a very irritating condition, causing vaginal redness and soreness, so that you probably aren’t going to feel like you want sex a few infection bad enough to produce the typical “cottage cheese like discharge” from the vagina.
Normally of course thrush affects women of any age, and in fact it’s estimated that about one in 20 has thrush at least four times a year. Candida albicans is the common fungus which is responsible for this infection, but it’s carried in the body all the time. Indeed, it’s actually a regular inhabitant of the digestive track, and it’s overgrowth is inhibited by the presence of what are known as probiotic bacteria. These have been suggested as a way of curing yeast problems. Generally speaking therefore, you won’t actually know that you have the fungus that can cause thrush, and it’s only when it grows out of control you notice symptoms.
The prerequisites for Candida to flourish include hormonal changes, such as those experienced during menstrual cycles or during pregnancy, the use of antibiotics, or other health conditions such as diabetes.
naturally thrush is an uncomfortable problem, but it’s been said that the normal antifungal agents such as clotrimazole a war miconazole a will be able to cure it effectively. This is only true to a certain extent because one of the current problems with fungal infections is that a degree of resistance is emerging, and the traditional remedies may no longer be as effective as they once were.
The other point that needs to be borne in mind here is that other infections can cause vaginal discharge. Some of the infections that you see in your vagina are caused by bacteria, and parasitic such as trichomoniasis. the truth of the matter is that none of these affections will actually affect your chances of getting pregnant, and they certainly won’t affect the chance of having a boy or a girl. Nonetheless, they should be treated by your doctor or using over-the-counter medications recommended by your pharmacist.
Jason Julius is a sex educator who has worked for many years on the Internet providing information in video format for men who wish to know how to bring their female partners pleasure i.e. to bring them to orgasm during sexual contact.
Jason works by means of what he calls “the female orgasm blueprint”, which translates in ordinary language as a system for men to know exactly how to stimulate the woman’s clitoris, Volvo, and vagina, during foreplay or sexual intercourse. For men who find it difficult to bring a woman to orgasm, this information is extremely valuable.
Jason Julius and Orgasm Arts would be the first to admit that he is not a man with any qualifications as therapist or counsellor. I prefer to see him as a sex educator, a man who was refined and developed the information that is available to all of us, into a programme set out in a series of seven modules, which will allow all men to take their female partners to orgasm during any kind of sexual interaction.
What makes Jason Julius is work different to all the others who have gone before him, and all the others who feel that they have a right to propagate their own view of sexual matters on the Internet, is that he is work is supported by men who have reviewed it extensively. What we find when we look at the reviews of Jason’s information, is that it is greeted with widescale approbation and applause. What I take this to mean, is that it really works!
So what is Jason have to offer us? Well, he has a video program which is set out in seven modules, which include information about the G spot and other aspects of female anatomy, as well a sexual techniques that effectively bring a woman to orgasm.
These are the titles of the modules:
We’ll see what the bonuses are about in just a moment. (Basically, they’re billed as “extra information and resources for getting the most out of your sex life.”) But let’s start with the 10 Female Orgasm Blue Print Video Modules. You can view these online one at a time, or you can download them as a package:
Mindset For Approaching Orgasms , Guiding Her Mind, Female Anatomy, Clitoral Orgasms, A-Spot Orgasms, Oral Sex, Squirting Orgasms, Troubleshooting, G spot orgasms, Forever Orgasms (Additional Techniques).
as you can see, this is a comprehensive set of information which should allow you to satisfy your curiosity or fulfil the gaps in your sexual knowledge, no matter how good a lovely you may regard yourself as. The simple reality is that most men do not adequately understand female sexuality, and some men do not actually even understand female sexual anatomy.
By using a program like this, which is revolutionary in its approach, using video programs to provide information about how to take a woman to orgasm, a man can rapidly gain all the knowledge and information that he needs to turn himself from a dreary, unsatisfying lover, into an exciting bedroom partner.
Now I fully acceptable that being a good lover doesn’t just involve knowing about physical techniques that will stimulate a woman and take her to orgasm; obviously there’s much more to it than that, including the ability to get inside a woman’s mind and make her feel respected, make her feel that she trusts you, and perhaps also make her feel loved. But the reality is that by establishing a system which enables men to take a woman to orgasm reliably, greater intimacy is automatically generated within the relationship, and this in turn will lead to emotional intimacy and better communication.
There’s no need to study technically complicated sex manuals, or instruction manuals which you pay out a great deal of money. Jason Julius has come up with the ideal combination of value for money and simplicity of approach, which will allow almost any man to find a way to achieve sexual pleasure with his partner. Now you will probably know, if you’re a man reading this, that a woman who is having regular orgasms is a happy woman, and that when she is sexually satisfied, her feeling of emotional closeness to partner is such that the whole relationship borrows benefits from the sexual pleasure she is achieving.
Another way that you might approach the system of knowing about sexual pleasure for men and women within a relationship is to use the many resources available on the Internet which consisted of pictures of female anatomy and how to pleasure a woman. The same is in fact true for a woman who wishes to pleasure her man — becoming familiar with Male Sexual Anatomy is extremely important. If you would like to look at dick pictures, to establish greater familiarity with the male genitalia, we can offer you some suggestions.
What this means in practice is that if your relationship is currently going through any kind of difficulty, then buying Jason Julius’s programme is likely to lead to a greater level of harmony and mutual compatibility, due simply to the fact that the woman appreciates you having made the effort to ensure that she is receiving sexual pleasure whenever she desires it. The other aspect of this which I feel worthy of mention is the fact that G spot orgasm is an orgasm a far greater intensity and pleasure the clitoral orgasm, and even though there have been disputes and debate about whether or not the G spot exists in the newspapers in recent times, the fact is that any woman will be able to tell you that the stimulation of the vagina together with stimulation of the clitoris leads to a much deeper and more emotional orgasm and stimulation of the clitoris alone.
In my work as a sex therapist, one of the problems that I often come across is male sexual dysfunction in the form of delayed ejaculation.
What I have noticed is that in the majority of cases, men are very reluctant to seek treatment for delayed ejaculation. This seems to be a condition that even now, at a time when premature ejaculation is freely discussed on the Internet and elsewhere, is shrouded in mystery, shame and a sense of failure.
Now I want to tell you that actually it’s extremely common — about one man in 10 can’t come during intercourse easily, or indeed perhaps at all. This means that there need be no shame attached to the condition, and since treatment is actually comparatively easy — at least in the hands of a competent therapist — there should be no reason why a man who is having difficulty ejaculating during intercourse does not seek treatment.
Regrettably, the nature of the condition is that men who have it appear to be very reluctant to seek help, and more often than not, the treatment trigger is the dissatisfaction on the part of the woman who wishes to conceive a baby, and who has for a considerable length of time, been prepared to tolerate a relationship in which man is not ejaculate during intercourse.
At the point where her biological clock is speaking loudly enough to her to cause discomfort and unease about the prospect of not conceiving a child, one of two things usually happens: either the relationship breaks up, or, more often, the woman brings the man into therapy, and there is tension and bitterness between them. It’s for this reason that if you’re looking at reasons why you can’t conceive, and one of them is that you’re having difficulty with male orgasmic disorder, then I would recommend the following site as a means to possibly achieve easier orgasm and ejaculation during intercourse. www.long-lasting-lovers.com Check it our now – there’s an online treatment program with a 96% success rate.
In case you’re not familiar with the condition, delayed ejaculation is a comparatively common condition in men, in which they have difficulty reaching the point of ejaculation and orgasm during sexual intercourse. Usually, men have no difficulty reaching orgasm during masturbation, a fact which has been used to indicate a psychological or emotional origin of this condition, often lying within the relationship.
It’s certainly true that in my experience as a sex therapist, many men who have orgasmic difficulty or ejaculatory dysfunction of this kind, will certainly have a degree of hostility, anger and resentment towards their partner, but just as often they may simply be holding sexual guilt and shame which prohibits and inhibits the ejaculatory reflex. It is also possible, although there is little evidence to support this suggestion, that delayed ejaculation may be caused by an insensitive penis, a slow or unresponsive bulbocavernoasal reflex, or by medication which the man is taking a completely different condition.
In all cases, it’s an extremely good idea to have a medical checkup to make sure that there isn’t a physical cause, and only then to engage in treatment, preferably with a sex therapist who can understand exactly what relationship dynamic is playing out between the couple, as well as offering practical treatment suggestions that will allow the man to ejaculate more easily.
You might wonder how it’s possible for you to choose the sex of your baby. Well, there are 4 main things that come into play here. They’re all described in this wonderful book. If you want to find out right now about the ways you can conceive a baby boy or girl, click here or on the picture below.
So what are these 4 things that influence the sex of your baby?
The first is the sexual position that you use. Obviously, if you use a sexual position where the man’s ejaculation ends up near the opening of the cervix, it’s easier for the sperm to pass into the uterus because they have a shorter journey to make. So sex positions that give deep penetration may increase your chances of conception. But the sex position you use can also determine the sex of your baby because boy-producing (XY) and girl-producing (XX) sperm move at different speeds towards the egg. Using the right sex position is incredibly important when you want to conceive a boy or a girl. Check out how to choose the sex of your baby here.
Secondly, the sperm which will produce a baby boy, that’s to say those carrying the XY sex chromosomes, don’t live as long as the sperm carrying the XX sex chromosomes – the ones that produce a baby girl. This is another reason why you need to use the correct sex position for conceiving a bay boy or a baby girl. In this amazing eBook you’ll find full details & pictures of the sex positions which not only increase the chances of conception but also maximize the chances of you having a baby boy or a baby girl, as you wish. Click here or on the picture to find out how this works.
Thirdly, the internal environment of the vagina may influence the gender of your child. This means that things like body temperature, or the acidity or alkalinity of the woman’s vagina, can favor or hamper the boy or girl producing sperm. And that’s something you can directly control – with what you eat, for example, as well as when you have sex in your monthly cycle.
So not all sexual intercourse, and not all couples, have an equal chance of conceiving a baby boy or girl. You can make sure that you’ve done everything possible to conceive a baby boy or baby girl, depending on your choice, by ensuring that you’ve made the environment inside your vagina most suited to fertilization by male sperm or female sperm. Again, check out how you can do this here.
Lastly, it’s necessary for both parents to be fertile: for the man to have a good sperm count and the woman to be ovulating viable eggs. Those factors you can also influence by what you eat and your lifestyle. (If you don’t manage to conceive, it’s probably best to see your doctor. The standard advice given is to see a doctor if you’ve been having unprotected sex – i.e. sex without contraception - for a year without conceiving a baby, or, if you’re over the age of 35, to see a doctor if you’ve been having unprotected sex for six months without conceiving a boy or girl.)
All the sex positions which can help you conceive a baby boy and the sex positions which can help you conceive a baby girl are described in the most successful system ever devised for choosing the sex of your baby: it’s called The Shettles Method after Dr Shettles, who discovered it. Of all the systems that claim to help you choose the sex of the baby you conceive, this is by far the most reliable.
So how does it work? The sperm which produce a baby boy have XY sex chromosomes. Those which produce a girl have XX chromosomes. Sperm carrying XY chromosomes aren’t quite as strong, and they don’t live as long, but they move faster. These facts allow you to tip the odds in favor of conceiving a boy by following some simple steps. The whole system – every single thing you can do to give you a better chance of getting a boy or a girl – is described in simple, straightforward detail here: The Shettles Method.
When you choose the sex of your baby following these steps, your chance of conceiving a boy or girl increases by almost 100%. In fact, when the Shettles Method is applied properly, the success rate is 90%. This can give you the choice you want when you wish to conceive a baby boy or you’re dreaming of a baby girl! Good luck!
You have to know when you ovulate. Because of the limited life of the XY sperm, you need to limit sex to a period from 24 hours before ovulation to 12 hours after ovulation. If you have intercourse more than 24 hours before you ovulate, your chances of having a boy are much lower. All of this is described in the Shettles method. Check it out here:
Dr Shettles suggests that the best way to determine the correct time to have intercourse around the point of ovulation is to check the state of your cervical mucus. Just before you ovulate it has a watery and elastic consistency similar to that of raw egg white. Charting your cervical mucus over a period of a month also allows you to be absolutely sure of the day that you ovulate. The cervical mucus also influences how easy it is for the XY – male – sperm to get into the uterus. Around the time of ovulation, when the cervical mucus is less acidic and slippery, the XY sperm can penetrate it more easily.
In addition, Dr. Shettles suggests that you monitor your basal body temperature very carefully. His system explains in great detail how to monitor your body temperature and watch for the change around the time of ovulation. If you wish you can also use ovulation predictor kits. These kits monitor changes in the hormone level in the body prior to ovulation, and allow you to check the point at which the hormone associated with population surges in your bloodstream. When you have detected this search, you can predict the time of ovulation fairly accurately. And Shettles also observes that sex positions which provide deep penetration also help to get this male sperm nearer to the cervix.
There is some other factors which we should mention because you’ll see them repeated in the folklore we can’t vouch for whether or not they are accurate: a high sperm count is helpful in producing a baby boy, so the male partner should wear boxes rather than tightfitting underwear which allows the testicles to remain cool and increases the sperm count. In addition, and somewhat improbably, drinking coffee before sex apparently increases the activity of the XY (male) sperm.
The missionary position, also known as the man on top
There is general agreement from all experts that the missionary position, whether man is on top, offers the greatest chance of having a baby. It gives deep penetration which allows the man to deposit his sperm near the opening of the cervix, while ensuring that the woman’s prone position, lying on her back, keeps the sperm near the cervical opening for as long as possible before it drains out the vagina.
It follows that if you can adjust the angle of the woman’s hips so that her vagina is tilted downwards, the sperm will have an even greater chance of passing into her uterus and up into the Fallopian tubes where it can fertilize an egg. This is shown in the illustrations below, and the photographs demonstrate how you might want to put it into practice!
Of course not only is man on top or missionary position good for conception, it’s also very enjoyable sex position in its own right since the couple can look at each other, there’s lots of bodily contact, opportunity for kissing, and indeed the chance for playing with your partner’s breasts and pulls with both your mouth and fingers. Not only that, but both partners can move up to the enjoyment of the sexual rhythm.
If you trying to conceive a baby, it’s probably a good idea to lay down for half an hour after intercourse is complete to try and keep your partner’s semen in your vagina. (Your body may not always agree, of course, because – as you will have experienced – semen is actively expelled by the vagina, in a process called “flowback”, anything from a few seconds to a few hours after sex. Even so, laying down like this maximizes your chance of conceiving a baby. Best sex position to conceive a baby boy. Reason: The male sperm are shorter lived but swim faster, and may have a greater chance of getting to the uterus first when sperm is deposited near the cervix.
Doggy style or rear entry sex position
You all know what this is, of course: the woman kneels facing away from the man, while he stands on kneels behind her and enters her from behind. It offers very deep penetration, and the opportunity for the man to make very deep thrusts, which helps get the sperm close to the cervix. Clearly it’s not quite as good as the man on top position for keeping semen within the vagina after making love, but if the woman does a quick rotation and lies down on her back, then it’s almost as good.
From a lovemaking point of view, it can give a man a very intense orgasms because of the exciting view he gets of his partner’s behind, it allows the woman a great deal of freedom of movement if she wishes to enjoy this, because the man the chance feeling powerful and sexy, and the woman the chance to let her sexual instincts flow; the man can have her close and reach around and pleasure his partner by playing with her breasts or clitoris, while she can reach between her legs and stimulate his testicles and the base of his penis as he thrusts.
In short, it’s a very sexy position can produce good orgasms — although it’s not regarded in any way is helpful to conception the woman to have an orgasm during intercourse, it’s obviously very pleasurable if she does so (although unfortunately quite uncommon!). Next best sex position to conceive a baby boy. Reason: same as for the missionary position.
Edge of the bed sex position
If you have the woman laying on the edge of the bed, and her partner enters her from either a standing or kneeling position, you can get good penetration and once again ejaculate near the entrance to the cervix. It’s also an exciting position because it’s different the ones usually used by couples, but it still gives deep penetration and mangling the vagina which helps retain the sperm in the entrance to the cervix was long as possible. Also a good position to conceive a baby boy. Reason: same as for the missionary position.
Side by side spooning — the best sex position to conceive a baby girl?
If you’re dreaming of a baby girl, you really want a position that offers shallow penetration and deposits the sperm a little bit further away from the cervix. One of the best ways of achieving this is to use side-by-side sex position with partners facing the same way — this doesn’t allow the man to enter his partner’s vagina quite so deeply, but it’s still tender and loving position, perfect for babymaking, with ample opportunity for mutual caressing, fondling and contact.
It’s also good for lying together after making love, and, according to popular wisdom, will increase the chances of the XX, or female, sperm reaching the uterus first.
Woman on top sex
As you can see by now, any position which tends not keeping semen near the entrance to the cervix is probably one that favors a baby girl. And clearly in the woman on top position, at least when the woman has her body upright, is one which will tend to allow the semen to drain out of the vagina faster, and therefore increase the chances of a XX sperm producing a baby girl. At least that’s the theory!
The best lubricant for couples trying to conceive a baby
Just in case you want to get your best lube for intercourse right now, without further ado, just click on your chosen link below and go to the product page from our chosen suppliers (needless to say, all very carefully selected). All these products are SAFE to use internally.
1 The best lubricants for vaginal intercourse without condoms – click below on the links
Notes: The link for “Lubricants containing herbal natural plant extracts” takes you to one of our favorite lubricant products – Aloe Cadabra – at Amazon.com, where it is available for sale. You can also get it from BetterSex.com (search for Aloe Cadabra lubricant.) For the purest natural lubes, we recommend food grade grape seed oil. This does not affect the vaginal tissue and is a great massage oil too! It gives beautiful sex with no vaginal irritation, and real pleasure.
2 The best lube for couples trying to conceive – PreSeed lubricant
PreSeed lubricant is generally recognized as having least effect on sperm survival and motility.
3 Other lubes for vaginal sex, anal sex, and pregant couples